I don’t think that I am alone when I say that the stirring within is slowly starting to grow louder – becoming a deep, unsettling rumble indicating that something is not right here. I often feel a homesick feeling, a feeling of displacement, but I don’t remember where exactly I’m missing. Perhaps it’s less of a place that I yearn for, but a state of being and a connection to the natural rhythms of the universe. Perhaps I’m missing my true self and the woman that my soul is being called back to becoming. My nervous system feels dysregulated, constantly feeling like I’m merely surviving. I’m sure that I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Our bodies aren’t designed for this. This disconnection from not only the natural world, but from ourselves. Seasons, moon cycles and natural patterns have been replaced by clocks and calendars and linear time. We are thrust upon a society that values productivity over community, wellbeing, spirituality, connection and literally anything that nourishes our souls.
We are taught that if we do not thrive in this harsh, hostile environment that there is something wrong with us. We must be lazy or dumb or flakey. So we work harder. We hustle harder. We squeeze more into the day, constantly pushing to be better and to show the world that we are valuable enough. Nourishment becomes another chore to tick off the to do list, rushing to “get it done” while suppressing the noise within of the million other things running through our minds. We try to silence the noise. We numb it, shush it, push it down and we chug on.
Our attention is the most valuable commodity on the market, open for the highest bidder to manipulate and capitalise on. We are so distracted by what the world is telling us to pay attention to, that we have forgotten to pay attention to our true selves and to the subtle signals of our divine feminine nature that guide us to safety where we can truly find peace and wellness.
The female nervous system and modern life
As we neglect our true needs, the gentle tugs from within begin to grow stronger. Our nervous system – the bridge between the physical world and the internal world – begins to become overloaded and the calls from our bodies to slow down become louder.
Some of the way that our bodies respond to chronic exposure to the stress stimuli of modern day society are:
- Disturbed sleep
- Gut issues
- Unexplained weight gain
- Blood sugar dysregulation
- Inflammation
- Hormonal inbalances
- Reproductive conditions
- Nervous System dysregulation
These are not just physical disorders, but signals from our bodies that we have been removed for too long from our natural paces, rhythms and sense of safety. Many of us have felt like we have to resign to the fact that this is just the way it is and we have to just “deal with it” and carry on.
Constant stress stimuli alerts our bodies of danger, having no ability to differentiate between an overdue electricity bill and the actual physical danger of a tiger chasing us through the jungle. The internal processes are the same, whether the danger is real or perceived.
Fight and Flight v Rest and Digest
When we receive stress stimuli, our amazing, deeply wise bodies have a complex set of processes and physiological mechanisms designed to allow us to take action and keep us safe from immediate danger. Our pupils dilate, heart rate increases and blood flow is diverted from the skin and digestive system to the brain, arms and legs. In preparation for quick action against danger, our muscles contract which is why you may experience trembling during stressful situations. Stored glucose and fats are released from the liver for immediate energy, while non essential functions such as digestion are temporarily paused. This is known as being in a state of “fight or flight”, which is activated by the sympathetic nervous system and the flash flood of hormones that are released upon its activation.
The fight or flight response to acute stress is a wonderful, protective feature of our magical bodies. In the short term we can see how helpful this can be! It allows us to think quick and move fast in dangerous situations. Perfect for when you are faced with a wild animal approaching your cave! Not so perfect in modern day life when the stressful stimuli just doesn’t seem to stop coming!
Once the threat of danger has passed and a sense of safety has returned, our bodies then switch back into a state of “rest and digest” as the parasympathetic nervous system is activated. Safety, a core need, allows our bodies to shift out of “fight or flight” and towards the state of restoration. The state that allows our bodies to focus on healing, digestion, fertility, emotional regulation, hormone balance, sleep and nutrient absorption.
Rest and digest (Parasympathetic nervous system)
When the body is in a state of Rest and Digest, formally known as parasympathetic nervous system activation, you might notice some of these signs:
- Easier, regular bowel movements
- Warm feet and hands
- Steadier, more rhythmic hunger signals
- You are able to catch your breath and feel your breathing become steady and deep
- Improved intuition and feeling of deeper connection
- Feeling more emotionally regulated and able to manage the little storms that life can throw our way.
This is why stress can affect literally everything. We push on and we convince ourselves we’re ok. We’re fine! Fine. But when we truly slow down and listen to our bodies we know deep down that we’re not fine. We know something is broken. We don’t feel safe. We don’t feel safe to relax, to eat and to let our minds wander away from the daily routine and to-do list. Gosh, how we would spiral if we did. How life would unravel out of our control. So we put our head down and continue on.
What can you do to help balance your nervous system?
We want our bodies to feel safe and to allow for the fight or flight mode to switch off, allowing for the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode). This is going to allow for optimal functioning of the brain and body and to bring us into a state of clarity and calm. Our immune function, sleep quality, digestion and emotional regulation will be improved and our bodies will be given the grace to restore to regular functioning.
So how do we switch to rest and digest mode? We let our brain know that it is safe. We turn down the noise. It isn’t about forcing yourself to be calm all of the time, or trying to control your environment to avoid all stress stimuli. We want to be able to promote fluidity within ourselves, helping us to withstand life’s little storms while still feeling safe.
Sometimes it can be as simple as checking in with yourself when you are feeling triggered and ask yourself “Okay, are my basic needs being met? Do I need water? Have I eaten? Do I need to wee?”. Sometimes finding safety in the body is as simple as slowing the eff down and taking care of our own needs before rushing after everyone else. Other times though, we need to be more intentional and to take some time to bring our nervous systems back into balance and to establish a sense of safety and security.
Evidence backed tools that can help you to balance your nervous system
The goal when balancing your nervous system is not to try to do everything at once. We don’t need to suddenly add a bunch of new activities and health regimes to our lives when we can barely keep on top of the ones we have! The goal is to feel safe. The goal is to feel well. Below is a wee list of tools that have been proven to help you to feel balanced. grounded and to bring your nervous system into a state of feeling safe and present
1. Reduce Chronic Overload
Starting off strong with what I think is hands down the most important point in all of this. It’s not about starting something new or overhauling your whole routine – it’s about removing the things in your life and the constant stimuli that are keeping your symapathetic nervous system activated.
We don’t have the “villages” that we had many years ago, especially in regards to raising families. The majority of us are raising children in single generation families, doing most of the domestic labour, while also trying to stay afloat financially. We juggle friendships, relationships, careers and motherhood. This means that already our load is pretty heavy, and honestly it’s one of those things that probably isn’t going to change any time soon.
Because we can’t really change these things, we need to look at other ways that we can reduce the chronic overload of stress stimuli that we are exposed to on a regular basis. This can look like:
- Overconsumption of news and media
- Constant notifications
- Being “available” round the clock
- Overcommitting
- Perfectionism
- Being exposed to information 24/7
By gradually reducing our reliance on these things, we can begin to feel comfortable with less external input. It can feel uncomfortable at first, switching off and coming inwards. The dopamine is addictive, I know. But slowly life will begin feeling slower again. Time will slow down. You will slow down.
2. Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness may sound a bit elusive. I think that a lot of people view the word mindfulness as sitting in meditation, but really it is just about bringing yourself into the present moment. It is about truly feeling the experience of being you in this moment on this earth. It is about experiencing the world and life, rather than worrying about the future or ruminating over the past.
Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as:
- Drinking a cup of tea and feeling the steam on your face. Feeling the tea warm your throat as you sip it. Tasting the flavour of the tea and taking in the aroma. In this moment you are simply enjoying a cup of tea, and what a blessing that is!
- Focusing on one task at a time. When you are hanging the washing, you are hanging the washing. You aren’t rushing or worrying about the next task. What does it feel like to have the sun on your face as you do your work. Can you hear the children laughing? The birds singing?
- Practice mindful eating, without the distraction of the TV or devices. Savor the flavors and textures of your food and really enjoy the meal. Research shows mindful eating practice can help to improve the digestion of your food, reduce over consumption and improve nutrient absorption (Cherpak, 2019). Eating “on-the-go” is also shown to keep your body in a state of “fight or flight”, further reducing digestion and nutrient absorption.
3. Nourish your body
Proper nutrition is key to balancing your nervous system. Not only does it help you to feel safe and grounded, nourishing food provides your body with the fundamental building blocks that it needs. A balanced nervous system relies on receiving adequate nutrient intake including fats, carbs and protein and a wide variety of micro nutrients.
Adequate protein intake is a key nutrient when looking at nutrition to balance your nervous system. Protein is made up of a variety of amino acids (kind of like building blocks), many of which we cannot produce ourselves so we need to receive them from food intake. Different amino acids help our nervous systems in different ways. Protein helps to balance the nervous system by stabilising blood sugars, regulates stress hormones, improves vagal tone, reduces inflammation, neurotransmitter production and supports hormonal rhythm. I love exploring this topic! You can find a blog post that I wrote on how protein can help balance the nervous system here.
Other key nutrients for balancing the nervous system include:
- Magnesium
- Omega 3 fatty acids
- B Vitamins
- zinc
- Choline
I understand that nutrition can feel overwhelming, especially when we already have so much going on! But, it doesn’t need to be complicated or expensive. Sometimes it can be as fun as throwing together a cute little “girl dinner” platter with some whole foods that make you feel happy and alive. Think fancy tinned sardines, smoked salmon, olives, a handful of nuts, a couple of boiled eggs and a little salad made from fresh, seasonal produce and dressed with a probiotic yoghurt dressing. Simple, easy and nourishing. You don’t need to spend hours in the kitchen when you don’t think you have the capacity.
4. Safe human connection
The nervous system is highly social. Safe human connection can actually help to regulate nervous system function through co-regulation. Just being around a calm, grounded energy can signal safety to your brain, deactivating the amygdala and activating the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest mode).
We can also biologically sync to the people that we are connecting with, just by simply being in their presence. Pretty magical! Our heart rate, brain waves and breathing can mirror those that we are around, which can cause the body to slow down it’s stress response.
Safe, grounding human connection can include:
- Consensual physical touch such as hugging
- Meaningful conversation
- Playing with your children
- Volunteering on a project with other like minded people
5. Connecting with Nature
I know we hear it a lot that we need to touch grass every now and then, but it’s true! Connecting with our natural surroundings can do wonders for the nervous system! We are natural beings, infinitely connected to the rhythms and patterns of this wonderful universe and the natural world in which we coexist. It only makes sense that when we are disconnected from this natural world, we feel it in our bodies and souls.
Studies show that spending time in nature can reduce stress hormones (such as cortisol and adrenaline), lower blood pressure and improve mood. Activity in the amygdala has been shown to actively decrease during time spent in nature. This is the part of the brain that processes stress and fear and is responsible for activating the sympathetic nervous system.
A little bit oof magic that also happen when we spend time in nature is called phytoncide inhalation. This is when plants and trees release phytoncides, which are airborne organic compounds. When we breathe these in, the molecules physically alter our stress response and even boost immune function. So magical!
Getting back to basics
I think that above all else, the biggest thing that we can do to help balance our nervous system in this crazy, busy world is to look at our lives and think what actually matters here? What truly deserves my attention in this moment and what do I actually give a f**k about? Sometimes I think we just have to have a bit of a meh approach to life and look at some of the little problems as just that – little problems.
You have survived every single challenge that you’ve faced up until this point and none of it has killed you! You are safe! Now go and make a mess in the kitchen and make some pizza with the kids and dig a garden (even if nothing grows)! You don’t need to be perfect, or calm or even happy all of the time. But just know that amongst the busy and the stress and the deadlines, there is room for whimsy and fun. Your life won’t spiral out of control if your toast burns or you forget to take the laundry out!
References
Cherpak, C. E. (2019, August 1). Mindful Eating: A review of how the Stress-Digestion-Mindfulness triad may modulate and improve gastrointestinal and digestive function. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7219460/