Get up. Get ready. Quickly! Quickly eat your breakfast. Let’s have a chat, maybe a dance. Shit! We’re late!! Run! Get in the car! Heart racing, watching the clock. The clock, always that gosh darn clock. I watch the clock as I work, as I eat. I watch it as I rush to do the school run and run in and out the door for after school activities. It’s like something is constantly chasing me. Time. Constantly looming over everything we do. “There’s just not enough hours in the day!” I exclaim as I open tik Tok to waste more of that precious time away in the hopes of finally feeling a sense of calm.
Sometimes it just feels like there’s no space for anything in this life besides merely surviving and keeping my head above water, let alone for healing and releasing some of the burdens that have made themselves home on my shoulders. Being a mum is hard. Being a single mum? Even harder. If you’re a single mum and you’re reading this, I just want you to know you’re not alone. But I also know what it feels like to be a mother before the single part, and how hard that was too. We give ourselves to everyone. Every single piece of ourselves. We could be having the worst day of our whole lives and still we get up every single day to nurture and love those around us. Because that’s just what we do. We’re mothers.
But what about us? When do we love and nurture ourselves? Well I guess we don’t. We hold onto routine and control and we don’t dare loosen the reigns in fear of spiralling out of control. There is no time to spiral. It is never a good time to spiral. So we suppress our needs and desires and chug on. Right?
Wrong. We stop. We stop that now and we scoop ourselves up in all of that motherly love and nurturing kindness that we have cultivated over the years and we channel it into someone equally as deserving. Ourselves. It’s time to love ourselves.
Here are 5 little things that I do to love myself and reconnect with my wild feminine, even when it feels like there is no time in the day!
1) Create healing rituals within the Mundane
Make every shower a ritual. Exfoliate, lather. Shave if that’s your thing. Do your special occasion hair masks and moisturise from head to toe.
I know what you’re thinking – I barely get time to shower as it is, how the heck am I going to turn it into a divine feminine ritual experience?!! Well you’re going to make the time. Put your phone down, turn the big bright lights off and turn on the shower. Oh, get the plastic, crusty bath toys out of there first!
I know that showering can feel out of reach and rushed sometimes, but focusing on this one thing changed my life and my energy tremendously. I spent years hardly showering, my hair was always matted on my head and I never got dressed. I was gone. My soul essence had dissapeared. But having regular, beautiful, ritualistic showers and baths became such a big part of my healing journey and when I feel like I need to ignite my divine energy I just turn on the shower. Water its self is such a healing element with so many therapeutic properties and holds a special kind of magic.
I love to use body oil when I have the means to buy it (sometimes I even just mix a bit of olive oil with some lavender essential oil). While I am rubbing the oil into my skin I make it my intention to call in my divine feminine nature. I breath deep and I feel the healing touch of my hands. Allow your nervous system to calm through the safety of your own healing touch. Allow yourself to feel embodied and calm in that moment.
2) Romanticise the Small Stuff
When life feels like all we’re doing is chasing a never ending to do list, it can feel easy to fall into quite a heavy and negative energy. Trust me – I know! There are days where I feel like I can’t do this anymore, can I just tap out?
Then I remind myself that I don’t have to cook dinner – I get to cook dinner. I put on some Chris Stapleton and get the girls involved. We make a mess! I say fuck it who cares! No one’s measuring a thing, it’s chaos. But we’re spinning and twirling and someone’s on the bench, on their grand stage in front of thousands of fans!
I remind myself that I get to take care of this cute little home that has protected us and comforted us through some pretty rough times. I get to keep it cosy and homely and take care of it. And then I enjoy pottering about, cleaning it up and sprinkling magic about while dusting off the stagnant energy. My goal is never to have a spotless house because that’s like fitting a square through a circle hole, but romanticising taking care of the home has been a game changer in how I feel when I am cleaning it. It has been so healing to release some of the heaviness and pressure that comes with every day life and to give myself the space to enjoy what I have created with my girls.
3) I make time for what sets my soul on fire
But there’s no time! That’s the whole problem right? Yes I know it always feels like there is no time for us, especially for our hobbies, but we NEED to make the time. I don’t care if the sun has set and dinner’s boiling over on the stove and it’s freezing cold, starting to rain – I will be in my garden at some point in the day. When I am using my body to dig the soil and water my little plants and potter about in my little garden, I am there. My mind is quiet. My mind is very rarely quiet and I don’t know if I would have made it through the past few years if I hadn’t allowed this time for myself to be in my garden. There is something magical about what being in the garden does for my nervous system. Like the plants and the mycelium interact with me in ways that I can’t see or describe.
Whether it’s gardening or painting or cooking a nourishing meal – please do it. Please just do it. Pop your toddler in the bath and take your sketchbook and a cup of tea in there while they’re playing and happy. There are pockets of time that you can find for you to release some of that healing, creative energy and do something that sets your soul on fire.
4) Go Inwards to allow space for deeper healing
Listen to the whispers of your inner soul. The subtle cues and gentle tugs that are pulling you towards your true self. She’s in there. Sh’es always been in there. That wild, curious girl. The one who lay in bed at night, visions of her big bright wonderful future floating in and out of view as she drifted between realities. Baby girl, you never left. You’ve just had to tuck her away for a while.
When you feel deep emotional and spiritual discomfort, listen to it. Pay attention. That is your invitation to feel what you need to feel. Identify the source of discomfort and sit with it until you can feel the physical burning growing stronger and stronger. Let the tears flow. Let the energy that you’ve been suppressing and pushing down for so long emerge from within and tell you what you need to know. Tune into what your soul is telling you and you will see your life unfold in the most magical way.
When you learn to trust your intuition and the callings of your soul, your path will become clearer and more purposeful. You will feel safe to express yourself and your sense of security will feel more rooted and stable. Ideas and downloads will flow through you that are aligned with your highest good.
One pathway towards reconnecting with your intuition and inner voice is through working with your third eye chakra. You can read more about the third eye here and how it can help you to feel more creative, connected and divinely led.
5) Connect with Nature
This may seem obvious to a lot of people. We all know that connecting with nature brings us a sense of calm and peace, but how many of us actually prioritise connecting with nature? It’s not only about connecting with the trees and streams and birds and butterflies, but about discovering our own part in this infinitely connected tapestry of nature that is so harmoniously interweaved.
Understanding our own part in this perfectly designed system of rhythms and unspoken truths can bring such a deeply rooted trust and sense of safety. It can bring a sense of deeper purpose and, for myself personally, it brings about a feeling of never truly being alone. For some people, connecting with nature can help them to feel closer to the divine and opens them up to the understanding that this divine also resides in us, as we are all connected and interwoven.
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